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Where database blog posts get flame-broiled to perfection

Achieve near-zero downtime database maintenance by using blue/green deployments with AWS JDBC Driver
Originally from aws.amazon.com/blogs/database/category/database/amazon-aurora/feed/
February 12, 2026 • Roasted by Dr. Cornelius "By The Book" Fitzgerald Read Original Article

Ah, another dispatch from the industry frontlines, where the solution to every problem is apparently another layer of abstraction. I must confess, my morning tea almost went down the wrong pipe when this... bulletin... crossed my desk. One might have thought that after half a century of rigorous computer science, we would have moved beyond treating the database as a temperamental mule that must be coaxed with fancy, client-side harnesses. But I digress. Let us examine this brave new "plugin" with the academic rigor it so clearly lacks.

Still, one must encourage the children while they play with their blocks. A for effort, I suppose. Do try to pick up a textbook next time; they contain some truly fascinating ideas.