🔥 The DB Grill 🔥

Ah, yes. I've had a chance to look over this... project. And I must say, it's a truly breathtaking piece of work. Just breathtaking. The sheer, unadulterated bravery of building a multiplayer shooter entirely in SQL is something I don't think I've seen since my last penetration test of a university's forgotten student-run server from 1998.

I have to commend your commitment to innovation. Most people see a database and think "data persistence," "ACID compliance," "structured queries." You saw it and thought, what if we made this the single largest, most interactive attack surface imaginable? It's a bold choice, and one that will certainly keep people like me employed for a very, very long time.

And the name, DOOMQL. Chef's kiss. It's so wonderfully on the nose. You've perfectly captured the impending sense of doom for whatever poor soul's database is "doing all the heavy lifting."

I'm especially impressed by the performance implications. A multiplayer shooter requires real-time updates, low latency, and high throughput. You've chosen to build this on a system designed for set-based operations. This isn't just a game; it's the world's most elaborate and entertaining Denial of Service tutorial. I can already picture the leaderboard, not for frags, but for who can write the most resource-intensive SELECT statement disguised as a player movement packet.

Let's talk about the features. The opportunities for what we'll generously call emergent gameplay are just boundless:

• Player Names: I assume you're sanitizing inputs, right? The player named '; DROP TABLE players; -- is going to have a real leg up on the competition. It's a bold meta, forcing players to choose between a cool name and the continued existence of the game itself.
• Game State: Storing player coordinates, health, and ammo in database rows? That's not a security risk; that's a feature. You've decentralized cheat development! Why bother with memory injection when a simple UPDATE players SET health = 9999 WHERE player_id = 'me' will do? It’s server-authoritative in the most beautifully broken way imaginable.
• Multiplayer: This is my favorite part. The unauthenticated state modification potential is just... exquisite. Can my client's query see another player's data? Can I update their position to be, say, inside a wall? The potential for data spillage and unauthorized cross-player interaction is a compliance officer's worst nightmare, and an auditor's fondest dream.

You mention building this during a month of parental leave, fueled by sleepless nights. It shows. This has all the hallmarks of a sleep-deprived fever dream where the concepts of "input validation" and "access control" are but distant, hazy memories.

Build a multiplayer DOOM-like shooter entirely in SQL with CedarDB doing all the heavy lifting.

This line will be etched onto the tombstone of CedarDB's reputation. You haven't just built a game; you've built a pre-packaged CVE. A self-hosting vulnerability that shoots back. I'm not even sure how you'd begin to write a SOC 2 report for this. "Our primary access control is hoping nobody knows how to write a Common Table Expression."

Honestly, this is a masterpiece. A beautiful, terrible, glorious monument to the idea that just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.

You called it DOOMQL. I think you misspelled RCE-as-a-Service.